The most popular analogy I've come across on the slew of widow websites out there- and yes, there are a ton- is that losing your spouse is not just like suffering a wound that will heal over and then you'll have a scar. No, it's suffering an amputation. And if you lost your leg, no one would ask you in a year if your leg was better. Yes, you will go on eventually somehow- but not because you're "better" or "healed" but because you adapt and learn to limp or use a cane or prosthetic. So you're walking again, but it's obviously not the same. I do like this analogy.
I was telling our old pastor on the phone last week that I really couldn't imagine my life ever "going on," and that this is never going to go away. He said that no, I wouldn't be "healed," but that my scar might take on a new meaning just as the scars that the resurrected body of Jesus still had, took on a completely new meaning after he rose from the dead.
I honestly can not imagine yet how that will be so for me and my pain on this side of the grave, but I will try to keep an open mind. The only certainty I have really in this life, is that I know so very little about anything. I still wish to believe in a perspective, in a reality greater than my own.