So, I am leaning into hope these days. But right alongside my hope- the one of Dan being alive and well- there is a voice that whispers- he is simply gone- he drowned.
And that got me thinking about death and how difficult it is to believe that Dan, or anyone who has died, is still somewhere- despite the strong desire to believe it and the very real suspicion that he is.
And I think what it comes down to is knowledge and facts. Because we humans know the medical "cause" of death- what it was exactly that stopped the body from functioning- we believe the person to be truly gone. There was a cause- a reason. We understand what that was. In Dan's case, his lungs filled up with water- eventually it entered his bloodstream, he became brain dead and experienced cardiac arrest. Because we know these facts- it is very difficult to believe he is alive.
Let's just say that some people, rather than dying from an obvious cause- just left their bodies as empty shells- and disappeared- no accidents, no drowning, no disease to speak of or blame. There was no known cause or reason for their death. If that were the case, it would seem much easier to wonder if their spirits had gone to some other realm or place.
So, maybe what I need to do is push the facts aside for now. Just because something could be true- does not mean that it is. This is a standard train of thought that you learn in any college philosophy class. Just because people may believe in God for the wrong reasons, does not negate the fact that He could still be there. Just because I know what caused Dan's body to stop working, does not mean there is no possibility for eternal life.
Today I finally received a Fed Ex package I've been waiting for. I have not opened it yet. It is the last package I was expecting from Switzerland. In the envelope are sealed copies of Dan's death certificate. So, it is official now. It has been a difficult day.