Swatting at the Darkness

In the middle of the night, during the first week of your death, I awoke and when I opened my eyes and focused, there was something in front of me...something darker than the darkness around it- something opaque. I jolted my head back and I swatted at it with my right hand a few times, but it was like my hand moved right through it.

It feels like that now- as I sit here on a quiet Thursday night- trying to understand that you're gone. Like swatting a piece of darkness in the dark.