Your success did not come easily. I think when you first graduated- a semester early from Berklee- you expected it to, but just this past year I told you I was kind of glad you had to wait a few years and work at jobs you hated. It kept you humble I thought and gave you an appreciation for the life you wanted that you might not have had otherwise.

You worked so hard Dan. I could never understand how you did it, and I worried so much. Eventually, I just told myself that you were different than I am and could somehow handle the pace you were going at. Many nights you'd work your full time job until 6 pm- go to a rehearsal until 9 or 10 and then head back to your office to work until at least midnight. I didn't know how you did it. You basically were always working 2 or 3 jobs at a time.

I am so lucky to have known the full range of you- not just the bits and pieces I'm hearing from others- but the full range of your emotions. When you were discouraged, you were very discouraged. I tried to lift your mood by making salmon full of omega threes and buying your favorite beer and cheese doodle combo. (Boddingtons and all natural Cheetos- yum) But usually there wasn't a lot I could do to console you. In a day or so, you came out of it. And went back to the work before you.

So many windows I looked out of waiting for you to come home- late at night usually. Many times I walked around for an hour so I could meet you when you came out of the subway station. And when I saw you walking- sometimes you looked so tired, walked so slowly, and didn't lift your head.

But then you just tried harder. You never gave up. You wouldn't settle for a mediocre life and you knew you could do better.

I wish I could take back some of those hours that you worked or some of the touring or rehearsals so we could just be together like we used to when all this started. We'd sit in restaurants for hours just staring into each others' eyes.