"These people are here because Dan died.  The reason they came over to help me is because Dan drowned while he was on the tour.  All of the busyness and heaviness from the last couple of months is because Dan died.  He actually died." 

These are the conversations I have with myself all of the time.  

I am not lonely- I am lonely for you.

It is not sharp these last few days, but deep...bottomless.