Today I had a memory that I haven't thought of in a very long time. It was July of 1999. I was dropping you off after our car ride to Virginia- it was only our third time meeting- nothing had happened between us yet.
You lived in Staten Island at the time because you thought it was exotic when you first moved to NYC- ha.
We were walking down some small steps to the area in the complex where your apartment was, and with each step we were in sync- we stepped with the same feet at the same time- quickly- exactly. There was a rhythm to it...and we both noticed. We laughed about I think- but nothing more. I knew then.
And then in your apartment, I remember we were so tired, but you said you wanted to play me this song- a Phil Collins song from the Tarzan soundtrack before I drove home to NJ. I remember we sat on opposite walls and put our heads back and closed our eyes because we were so tired from the long drive. I think I know your eyes were closed because I peeked, and I think you were probably actually falling asleep because you could fall asleep anywhere if you were tired. Me, I was listening to the song and the lyrics- and wondering if they meant something- if it was a sign- you playing that song for me. Later, when we were "dating," you put it on a mix tape for me- so I guess it's one of "our songs." It's a beautiful song. Thank you Dan for playing it for me that night before I drove home.
Come stop your crying, it'll be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you.
I will be here don't you cry
For one so small, you seem so strong
my arms will hold you keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry...
'Cause you'll be in my heart, yes, you'll be in my heart
from this day on, now and forevermore
You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say
You'll be in my heart always.