And then there are times...apart from all the questions and philosophizing and theologizing I do here, apart from the mothering I do- telling my daughter that yes, appa died, but we can still love him and he loves us, apart even from the process of grieving I practice each night in my bed- writing and reading and thinking- staring at your empty desk chair and your place on the bed beside me- set aside from even that- is just a simple, simple, longing for you...simply missing your presence so much- wanting to put my head on your shoulder and feel comforted for just
one moment
in all of this.