Sunday, March 13, 2011


Though I didn't know a single one before my husband died, I have corresponded now with many young widows.

Some have endured traumatically watching their husbands die before their eyes.  One recently gave birth to a third herself.  Many have their own blogs where they explore their own grief process- some do not.  Many have children of all ages- some two, three, twins.  They are doing their best to help their children grieve well while under this insufferable weight themselves.  They are working, not working, getting life insurance, making up wills, moving, staying, trying to keep their homes in order.

Not one was prepared for this loss.

Not one has any answers.

But each one is breathing and loving their children.

I wish I'd never met any of them.

They are not courageous by choice- this is what they have set before them.  I know they don't like it when people tell them they're "so strong,"

but oh my goodness...

they are.

In their weighted march
and under constant assault
in the kinship of their words
written late,
at night

I behold
a beauty
I have never seen


  1. Moving, beautiful post, Julia... and as you've seen beauty in them, I see the beauty in the pain in you... it is not what you wanted either, no. but, thank you so much for sharing. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers over here...

  2. This is have such a gift with words. Thinking of you and your own beauty in all of this.

  3. What a beautiful, powerful post. Thanks for comforting others even in the middle of your own loss.