You have given me every extreme now, I was thinking the other day. Our wedding day, the most joy-filled, your funeral, the most devastating. Wake- most horrifying. Day our little girl was born, most awe-filled. And our engagement day- the most anticipated and most exciting day of my life. Four years of dating and singing at every friend's wedding and finally- you asked. When I read this now, I read how young we still were. 26 and 27 years old. You had only seven years left to live until the day of your most preventable and ridiculous death. I am very sad today to find that all of that is over.
People want to believe your memories bring you comfort or happiness or something. Maybe with other losses, but not with a spouse. For what is a relationship but a compilation of all shared memories and experiences. They are the concrete foundation on which future memories will be built. This you only really find out when the relationship is severed and broken and ended. The memories then are like the tiniest shards of glass sprinkled on your kitchen floor after you drop your favorite vase. It's the shards you must watch out for more than the larger pieces even. You tiptoe around them in your bare feet, those beautiful, sharp shards.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
i was planning to write in today's entry about the time i met chris webber in the building i used to work at, but something came up over the weekend that changed my life forever. w/ my sincere apologies to mr webber...
so... as some of you may already know, ...after 4-plus long years of dating, julia and i got engaged on sunday, august 3rd
i'm not a big fan of those corny emails or sites informing the world about their whole proposal event in over-dramatically written cheesy romantic details. however, since people have been asking me non-stop 'where & how did you do it', 'what was her reaction' type of questions, i decided to just do an entry on the proposal, so that folks don't bug me no more. i'll try to describe it the best i can
lies after liesi really threw her off good. actually after this, i realized i could be a pretty good liar or a con artist. hmm...
lie #1: i first made her believe i was playing music for the evening service at 6pm (which our church started recently) in midtown near grand central
lie #2: while she was on the upperwest side trying to park her car for an hour (she was planning to come to the service, but it's impossible to park in midtown), i called her cell and said i decided not to play for the service, that i'd tell her details later
lie #3: when i met up w/ julia at the s line platform in times sq, i told her the real reason i'm not playing is because i got into a fight w/ siki, the music leader for that service. i was going to say i threw a chair at him, but i thought that would give it away, so i just said it was an argument
we took the s line shuttle across to the east side and entered grand central...
by now she was furious at me. first i immaturely get into a fight, then i irresponsibly decide not to play just because of that silly incident... she said she was starting to question my character. we were on a ramp going down to the downstairs concourse to use the bathrooms, when i stopped her to show her a cool feature of grand central called 'the whispering wall'. (there are 4 corners to the whispering wall. when you stand in one corner and talk even in the quietest voice, the other person on the opposite diagonal side can hear everything)
me: (in a quiet voice) hi julia
me: can you hear me?
julia: yeah! can you hear me?
me: yeah! isn't this cool?
me: i love you
julia: i love you, too
me: ...will you marry me?
julia: (shocked and speechless at first) ...naw... naw... you're not...
i had to ask twice more but i kept getting 'no, no's. so i walked across to the corner where she was standing, did the one knee drill w/ the ring out and asked her again. there, trembling and almost crying, julia said yes! and we hugged and kissed. the cop standing near by clapped for us as we were in each others' arms.
(why there, you ask?i thought about doing it in central park, but everyone does it there, and couldn't think of anything that creative. julia has always been fond of grand central. plus, i like it there too! let's just say, it's no port authority or penn station. besides the fact that it's always crowded, she has always been fascinated by the classic architecture of the building, stars on the ceiling, huge glass windows, the light that shines through those windows, chandelier lights... everything about it is elegant. like julia. oh, on the way down to the whispering walls, julia even pointed out how cool the chandeliers are, which was a good sign)
celebrationafter we embraced, julia got very dizzy and had to sit down to take this all in. we sat on the bench in the downstairs concourse for a few minutes till she felt better, then went to celebrate at the w hotel lounge on 49th and lex. we had our first drinks as an engaged couple as we chilled on the trendy comfy sofas. (by the way, you have to check out their bathrooms. they're so cool) at the 6 o'clock service, they announced our engagement, we were congratulated and got prayed for, several times
so, that's the story of our engagement. yay- hope you're happy. cuz i am
they say attractive women are drawn to crazy phycho men... muhahahha!!!
funny thing is, since sunday evening, julia's been saying 'hi fiance' a lot. she's so cute