I remember having this small epiphany about my faith in God sometime before you died, but only recently did I discover I had articulated it to you just three days before your tragic death.
It seems foreboding and hopeful at once:
In an email to you July 3, 2010:
"I keep thinking about my belief in God and how I thought believing would bring me safety and security and now that I see it doesn't- wondering what it's about to believe at all then? and if not, then what is the meaning of all this madness?"